CELIASYG.
IFAHSYG.
LINSYG.
ISABELSYG.
FATINSYG.
MARDSYG.
AMIRSYG.
NATSYG.
SHEKYNROCKSYG.
YAYUSYG.
LUTFI
JOVISSYG.
HAZMI.
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
IFAHSYG.
LINSYG.
ISABELSYG.
FATINSYG.
MARDSYG.
AMIRSYG.
NATSYG.
SHEKYNROCKSYG.
YAYUSYG.
LUTFI
JOVISSYG.
HAZMI.
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
Bituwin -
template
Dementee -
image
Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
Hit counter code here
Saturday, January 30, 2010
When you've just broken up from a relationship, you tend to feel a sense of longing and missing when you see couples outside, holding hands, joking around and just talking to each other. But sooner or later, you'll get past feeling that way. You would see them and either think,
1. "Hey, I have options available to me. I no longer think about what might have been if I was still in my past relationship. One day,I'd be as happy as them."
2. "Urgh,thank god I'm not in a relationship like they are. Beneath their laughters and mushy stuffs, there would be problems, misunderstandings, compromising and lots more."
In my past relationships, I always thought of option number 1. I thought that if I were to get attached to you,I'd be lucky and happy. You took up the majority of my secondary school days. You
took up at least 85% of my thoughts everyday. But now, after all that has happened, I think I'm for option number 2. I always think to myself, "Why should I put myself in a relationship and go through tears and laughters together with one person? Why should I submit myself to stress, sadness and frustrations because of one thing or another? Why should I have someone to message or call at least once everyday? And why should I set aside time to meet that one person more than once a week probably? Most importantly, why should I have only one special person in my life that I enjoy with,spend time with, cry with, fight with and complain with? Is it really necessary at the age that I am in now? I could (if i wished hard enough) have a vast number of male companions to complain to, flirt with, go out with, joke around with and just slack with if I wasn't tied down with someone. I can't possibly imagine myself doing all this if I am in a relationship with someone. I mean, get real, which boyfriend or girlfriend would be happy about that? I don't get why it has to be this way, but I suspect it has got a lot to do with jealousy. Then again, I don't think (at least I hope not) that everyone is like that. There's bound to be mature and realistic people out there who isn't just interested in physical beauty, a girl's curves, how far they can get with that girl/guy and all the other lusty and superficial things that is common in relationships. I'm sure that there are guys out there who enjoy having a date with his girl and just talk/debate/discuss about anything under the sun. I'd definitely appreciate someone like that.
Thing is, all I have now is care and concern. I feel a pinch when I hear that you've been through this and that. The pain comes when I realise that I wasn't there for you when this things happened. I wasn't there for you to complain to. I must have gotten used to you telling me everything. And now about this airshow, I felt the pain again and I felt like crying because you remembered how interested I was to go even though this "airshow conversation" took place back in 2008. To go on your behalf? That just makes it a whole lot harder. If not for the current situations, I'm sure you would have been there too. I'm sorry if you're still having different feelings. I don't even know what I'm feeling. Its like my emotions just shut down whenever I think about this long enough. If its denial on my part, I wish it would go away.
I love you, as my most special person that I'll ever have.
Take care.
toodles.
XOXO.
1. "Hey, I have options available to me. I no longer think about what might have been if I was still in my past relationship. One day,I'd be as happy as them."
2. "Urgh,thank god I'm not in a relationship like they are. Beneath their laughters and mushy stuffs, there would be problems, misunderstandings, compromising and lots more."
In my past relationships, I always thought of option number 1. I thought that if I were to get attached to you,I'd be lucky and happy. You took up the majority of my secondary school days. You
took up at least 85% of my thoughts everyday. But now, after all that has happened, I think I'm for option number 2. I always think to myself, "Why should I put myself in a relationship and go through tears and laughters together with one person? Why should I submit myself to stress, sadness and frustrations because of one thing or another? Why should I have someone to message or call at least once everyday? And why should I set aside time to meet that one person more than once a week probably? Most importantly, why should I have only one special person in my life that I enjoy with,spend time with, cry with, fight with and complain with? Is it really necessary at the age that I am in now? I could (if i wished hard enough) have a vast number of male companions to complain to, flirt with, go out with, joke around with and just slack with if I wasn't tied down with someone. I can't possibly imagine myself doing all this if I am in a relationship with someone. I mean, get real, which boyfriend or girlfriend would be happy about that? I don't get why it has to be this way, but I suspect it has got a lot to do with jealousy. Then again, I don't think (at least I hope not) that everyone is like that. There's bound to be mature and realistic people out there who isn't just interested in physical beauty, a girl's curves, how far they can get with that girl/guy and all the other lusty and superficial things that is common in relationships. I'm sure that there are guys out there who enjoy having a date with his girl and just talk/debate/discuss about anything under the sun. I'd definitely appreciate someone like that.Thing is, all I have now is care and concern. I feel a pinch when I hear that you've been through this and that. The pain comes when I realise that I wasn't there for you when this things happened. I wasn't there for you to complain to. I must have gotten used to you telling me everything. And now about this airshow, I felt the pain again and I felt like crying because you remembered how interested I was to go even though this "airshow conversation" took place back in 2008. To go on your behalf? That just makes it a whole lot harder. If not for the current situations, I'm sure you would have been there too. I'm sorry if you're still having different feelings. I don't even know what I'm feeling. Its like my emotions just shut down whenever I think about this long enough. If its denial on my part, I wish it would go away.
I love you, as my most special person that I'll ever have.
Take care.
toodles.
XOXO.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
ola
ok.
so didnt have school on friday..
went over to syiqin's place to do proj..then busED to MS M's house with the rest.
her house is just so OMG LAWANYEEEE.
seriously. black and white concept. simple but chic.
sucky part came when i had to go home:(
APPARENTLY I CANT STAY OVER COS DADDY SAID "NO!"
just no.
felt frustrated..felt like rebelling..but thought the better of it.
i would be enjoying myself tmr.
so the next day, i kpo-kpoed my way to celebrate sis's 21st advanced celeb with her friends..
she had tiz funny meal called aglio olio. pronounced, alio olio.(silent g)
funny ok the name. but it was delicious. then had choc eclairs and everythg.
after that, went to play arcade.
spent the first few minutes there screaming cos they were playing this zombie game.
FUN FACT:
I DETEST zombies as much as pocongs. They scare the life outta me.
after all that,proceeded to slack at sg river area..cos of some technical difficulties. played the game CHAK with sis. haha. inside joke.
Finally,the night started when we entered the pub..first time i had hard liquor.
tastes abit like fruit punch when mixed with coke. haha. got a lil tipsy.ok got very tipsy by the end of the night. one of the cups i had was shared with sis cos it was almost raw and the taste sucked.ahha.then me and sis karaoked OBSESSED.i swear it was hancur cos we were shouting.haha.but hey, it was fun. its not everyday u can shout a mariah carey song and be excused for it. we were not SOBER. a while later, her friends brought out a cake. aww. touchy2. so i sang her the bdae song..i sang..no,i think i shouted..but yea, she heard it. then we went off. i wonder how we would have been if the whole Martell had been polished.hahaha. i was struggling to keep a straight face when i reached home.
woke up today feeling tired skali. dunno why but yea. haha.
tt jz about sums it up.
thank you for the opportunity.
;)
anyways, looking forward to zoo trip with class tmr! yay.
loves.
GNITES.
XOXO.
ok.
so didnt have school on friday..
went over to syiqin's place to do proj..then busED to MS M's house with the rest.
her house is just so OMG LAWANYEEEE.
seriously. black and white concept. simple but chic.
sucky part came when i had to go home:(
APPARENTLY I CANT STAY OVER COS DADDY SAID "NO!"
just no.
felt frustrated..felt like rebelling..but thought the better of it.
i would be enjoying myself tmr.
so the next day, i kpo-kpoed my way to celebrate sis's 21st advanced celeb with her friends..
she had tiz funny meal called aglio olio. pronounced, alio olio.(silent g)
funny ok the name. but it was delicious. then had choc eclairs and everythg.
after that, went to play arcade.
spent the first few minutes there screaming cos they were playing this zombie game.
FUN FACT:
I DETEST zombies as much as pocongs. They scare the life outta me.
after all that,proceeded to slack at sg river area..cos of some technical difficulties. played the game CHAK with sis. haha. inside joke.
Finally,the night started when we entered the pub..first time i had hard liquor.
tastes abit like fruit punch when mixed with coke. haha. got a lil tipsy.ok got very tipsy by the end of the night. one of the cups i had was shared with sis cos it was almost raw and the taste sucked.ahha.then me and sis karaoked OBSESSED.i swear it was hancur cos we were shouting.haha.but hey, it was fun. its not everyday u can shout a mariah carey song and be excused for it. we were not SOBER. a while later, her friends brought out a cake. aww. touchy2. so i sang her the bdae song..i sang..no,i think i shouted..but yea, she heard it. then we went off. i wonder how we would have been if the whole Martell had been polished.hahaha. i was struggling to keep a straight face when i reached home.
woke up today feeling tired skali. dunno why but yea. haha.
tt jz about sums it up.
thank you for the opportunity.
;)
anyways, looking forward to zoo trip with class tmr! yay.
loves.
GNITES.
XOXO.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A Girl's Diary.
Vanity was always my favorite sin.
Glamour was always my favorite weapon.
Beauty was always my favorite crime.
Envy was always my favorite poison.
Love was always my favorite hate.
Fame was always my favorite motive.
XOXO
Vanity was always my favorite sin.
Glamour was always my favorite weapon.
Beauty was always my favorite crime.
Envy was always my favorite poison.
Love was always my favorite hate.
Fame was always my favorite motive.
XOXO
Saturday, January 16, 2010
moth·er
A woman who raises a child.
To watch over, nourish, and protect maternally.
Having a mother is a wonderful thing.
Though we do not always appreciate her, and too often take her for granted,
we are indeed extremely blessed to have mothers.
Mothers know what's right. Mothers know what's bad.
Mothers tend to know the weather forecast of the day.
Mothers always have you in their prayers.
Mothers never fail to make us feel special(in our own way),even though we have 8 other siblings under the same roof.
Mothers always take the extra effort to do something that she thinks we should have.
Mothers... I treasure mine alot.
And, of ALL PEOPLE, I am sure as hell, you would know the impact of having a mother in your life.
You would know the blessed feeling of having someone include you in your prayers when you are too busy to take five minutes to touch your head to the ground and say thanks. But the only thing that you're FAILING to understand here, is that YOU'RE A MOTHER YOURSELF.
So, when are you gonna start behaving like one?
When are you gonna let your children feel as special as I do?
When are you going to STOP MAKING MY MOTHER BE A SUBSTITUE FOR YOUR CHILDREN?
this sounds really direct and crass.
But im going to have to say it.
I am self centered.
I am obsessive.
I am extremely jealous.
I hate you.
I hate you for bribing her with your little ones.
I understand that as teenagers, we may not always take time to spend with her,go out with her, talk to her, say thanks to her, cuddle with her, want her, need her, demand attention from her, rely on her etc.
That's cos, she has raised us to be independent individuals who can take care of ourselves.
Definitely, sometime of the day, I feel thankful for my mother and her actions. I just do not say it out loud. I do not usually go up to her and say thanks, or hug her suddenly. Don't put it up my face. You don't do that to your mother. Heck, you dont even make her feel welcome in your home. Yet, you're always giving me the business of not appreciating my mother.
HAVE YOU DONE THAT? DO YOU ACTUALLY PLAN TO DO IT AT ALL?
I'm just turning eighteen this year.
I havent seen the world enough for me to think maturely all the time.
You're old.
You're a MOTHER. and yet, you never see that,do you?
Instead, you just push all the work to someone else. Have someone else to be a mother to your own children.
Undeniably,your own children are closer to my mother than they are to you.
And you always wonder why is that so.
You're more idiotic than you look,you know?
I guess it goes two ways.
Takes to hands to clap.
But I still feel neglected,
I will always recall Ms Selena Akbar saying that i have to start wanting my mother as much as those kids do.
You told me that two years ago.
Does it work? Don't you want to know?
Well, they didnt.
I miss talking to you Ms Selena.
I just wish I could.
There is more for me to vomit out...but sometimes, it just gets too personal.
but it doesnt change the fact,
i still dislike you.
& im thankful you're not my mother.
Im thankful for MY MOTHER.
XOXO.
A woman who raises a child.
To watch over, nourish, and protect maternally.
Having a mother is a wonderful thing.
Though we do not always appreciate her, and too often take her for granted,
we are indeed extremely blessed to have mothers.
Mothers know what's right. Mothers know what's bad.
Mothers tend to know the weather forecast of the day.
Mothers always have you in their prayers.
Mothers never fail to make us feel special(in our own way),even though we have 8 other siblings under the same roof.
Mothers always take the extra effort to do something that she thinks we should have.
Mothers... I treasure mine alot.
And, of ALL PEOPLE, I am sure as hell, you would know the impact of having a mother in your life.
You would know the blessed feeling of having someone include you in your prayers when you are too busy to take five minutes to touch your head to the ground and say thanks. But the only thing that you're FAILING to understand here, is that YOU'RE A MOTHER YOURSELF.
So, when are you gonna start behaving like one?
When are you gonna let your children feel as special as I do?
When are you going to STOP MAKING MY MOTHER BE A SUBSTITUE FOR YOUR CHILDREN?
this sounds really direct and crass.
But im going to have to say it.
I am self centered.
I am obsessive.
I am extremely jealous.
I hate you.
I hate you for bribing her with your little ones.
I understand that as teenagers, we may not always take time to spend with her,go out with her, talk to her, say thanks to her, cuddle with her, want her, need her, demand attention from her, rely on her etc.
That's cos, she has raised us to be independent individuals who can take care of ourselves.
Definitely, sometime of the day, I feel thankful for my mother and her actions. I just do not say it out loud. I do not usually go up to her and say thanks, or hug her suddenly. Don't put it up my face. You don't do that to your mother. Heck, you dont even make her feel welcome in your home. Yet, you're always giving me the business of not appreciating my mother.
HAVE YOU DONE THAT? DO YOU ACTUALLY PLAN TO DO IT AT ALL?
I'm just turning eighteen this year.
I havent seen the world enough for me to think maturely all the time.
You're old.
You're a MOTHER. and yet, you never see that,do you?
Instead, you just push all the work to someone else. Have someone else to be a mother to your own children.
Undeniably,your own children are closer to my mother than they are to you.
And you always wonder why is that so.
You're more idiotic than you look,you know?
I guess it goes two ways.
Takes to hands to clap.
But I still feel neglected,
I will always recall Ms Selena Akbar saying that i have to start wanting my mother as much as those kids do.
You told me that two years ago.
Does it work? Don't you want to know?
Well, they didnt.
I miss talking to you Ms Selena.
I just wish I could.
There is more for me to vomit out...but sometimes, it just gets too personal.
but it doesnt change the fact,
i still dislike you.
& im thankful you're not my mother.
Im thankful for MY MOTHER.
XOXO.
I’m shocked.
Why must there be a death of someone that I know every year?
I know it’s immature for me to think this way,
That everyone I know and love must live happily ever after.
I guess there’s still that small girl inside of me, wishing for everything to be a happy ending.
I’m sorry I do not know you as much as I should have.
All I know is, you are part of the family, in a way.
And for that reason alone, I feel attached to you.
The adults are all saying, “we should have this, we should have that”
But don’t they know that there isn’t any more point in talking that way?
Don’t they realize that whatever they’re saying are just meaningless words?
Whatever they have promised you have always been empty promises?
They hadn’t learnt the lesson the first time, when he went away.
We were supposed to have come to see you guys.
We were supposed to have spent time with you guys like a real family.
Like how you guys wanted it to be.
But now, it is definitely too late.
I do not think there will be any reason we would ever go there.
And it is funny how sometimes, I imagine myself in the place,
Imagining the place like how you used to describe it.
From time to time, I do remember you and I do see your face in others.
But, I think that’s all I can have.
Who am I kidding?
That’s all I would have.
I love the both of you. Even though..nevermind.
I just do.
Al-Fatihah.
Why must there be a death of someone that I know every year?
I know it’s immature for me to think this way,
That everyone I know and love must live happily ever after.
I guess there’s still that small girl inside of me, wishing for everything to be a happy ending.
I’m sorry I do not know you as much as I should have.
All I know is, you are part of the family, in a way.
And for that reason alone, I feel attached to you.
The adults are all saying, “we should have this, we should have that”
But don’t they know that there isn’t any more point in talking that way?
Don’t they realize that whatever they’re saying are just meaningless words?
Whatever they have promised you have always been empty promises?
They hadn’t learnt the lesson the first time, when he went away.
We were supposed to have come to see you guys.
We were supposed to have spent time with you guys like a real family.
Like how you guys wanted it to be.
But now, it is definitely too late.
I do not think there will be any reason we would ever go there.
And it is funny how sometimes, I imagine myself in the place,
Imagining the place like how you used to describe it.
From time to time, I do remember you and I do see your face in others.
But, I think that’s all I can have.
Who am I kidding?
That’s all I would have.
I love the both of you. Even though..nevermind.
I just do.
Al-Fatihah.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
;)
RUNNING RECORD IS DONE!
but im still sick:(
XO*cough2*XO.
RUNNING RECORD IS DONE!
but im still sick:(
XO*cough2*XO.
I feel like crap.
cant speak properly without sounding like a duck.seriously.my voice sucks with flu n fever altogether.
but,looking on the bright side,
i have completed my lesson plan. alone. wow. first time sey.
i just hope it makes sense to Ms Dorcas.heeh.
jz left to decode the running record and im done.wee.
but still,i feel like crap.
can i exchange bodies with you just for the day?
strictly no boys allowed:)
ayts.gotta go fill up my tummy AND CONTINUE BEING URGHH SICK.
oh yea,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARDHIAH.I WISH I WAS THERE TO CELEBRATE YOUR BDAE! :(
LOVE YOU!
toodles.
XOXO.
cant speak properly without sounding like a duck.seriously.my voice sucks with flu n fever altogether.
but,looking on the bright side,
i have completed my lesson plan. alone. wow. first time sey.
i just hope it makes sense to Ms Dorcas.heeh.
jz left to decode the running record and im done.wee.
but still,i feel like crap.
can i exchange bodies with you just for the day?
strictly no boys allowed:)
ayts.gotta go fill up my tummy AND CONTINUE BEING URGHH SICK.
oh yea,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARDHIAH.I WISH I WAS THERE TO CELEBRATE YOUR BDAE! :(
LOVE YOU!
toodles.
XOXO.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I do not like you.
I’ll give that to you.
I am trying to tolerate you.
You’ll surely have to give me that.
Please refrain from pushing my patience.
I am sure you would not like the consequences.
I am not bothered by the amount of people you know.
I am least bothered by the level of influence you have around.
Make a decision yourself, sweetie. Stay for good or get the hell out of here.
Always despising you.
Xoxo.
I’ll give that to you.
I am trying to tolerate you.
You’ll surely have to give me that.
Please refrain from pushing my patience.
I am sure you would not like the consequences.
I am not bothered by the amount of people you know.
I am least bothered by the level of influence you have around.
Make a decision yourself, sweetie. Stay for good or get the hell out of here.
Always despising you.
Xoxo.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Everything that has happened seems so unbelievable. But it happened. So, I guess it’s about time I er, wake up & face the fact that it happened, right? Lalala. Stress. & I just realized that I didn’t send in the form for classes. So now I’m not included in the classes. So what the hell do I do now? Oh, I know. Wait for more people to come & tell me something so bad that I can just round this whole week as the WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE. Way to start 2010. Thank god I didn’t make resolutions. Because, I wouldn’t be able to keep up to them even though the year has just started. Nevertheless, this whole incident makes us talk nonsense huh. Now I realise what human beings do when they are stressed.haha. Laughing my head off at lame, “Imagine kalau…bla3” ‘s. haha.
Can I fast forward time to say, April 2010? Please.
XOXO.
Can I fast forward time to say, April 2010? Please.
XOXO.