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Oh hello. I am Narah and I am 18. Dark chocolates,marshmallows and novels are my favorite things.

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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

okay. im gonna ASSUME this whole post. cos its in my mind & so i wanna write out what's on my mind so that it can no longer be in my mind. yea. i think i understand that.HE asked me to watch FRIENDS on youtube. HE said that it'll explain what he wantED to tell me. & so, i watch it. so thrs this episode where Rachel & Joey wants to get together, to have sex,to be bland. But, they can't, because they've been friends for too long, good friends, so they can never see each other in THAT way although they love each other a lot. & i think, the end of it is that, they remain as friends. i think uh. cos i didnt watch the end. i mean, he wants to let me know this? Does he really view me in that way? I mean, okay, maybe i havent been clear to him. I'm not dying for him & the better part is, I don't think i want us to be THAT way anymore. So, HE doesn't have to tell me this. HE doesn't have to explain this to me like i'm some immature kid who's stuck on him. Its like, HELLO, i knew & realised this a long time ago, way before you did i think, & AT LEAST, i told u.not directly but i replied his email. At LEAST, im not like HIM, i won't be surprised if he only got it wen he watched tt particular episode. URGHHHHH! IM FEELING PISSED NOW COS I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHY I'M FEELING PISSED. does tt make any sense? let's see, i THINK i feel pissed because i didn't need HIM to show me what we are. HE is making it look like i'm some immature teenager who's world revolves around HIM & "love". Well, he got it WRONG. DAMN WRONG. i realised it & learnt to live with it way before HE did. Cos unlike him, i have sensible friends & families who have time & again given me a lil pep talk here & there.
So, the next time, if he ever asks me whether i've watched it, I'm gonna say yea. & if he asks me whether i understood what he's wanted to say, im gonna say....
I GOT IT WAY BEFORE THIS HONEY.
ARGHHH. so now i feel like a bitch. who does he think he is????!?!???!!! does he think he's the only guy in this world? or better still, does he think he's the only guy i would ever like? shits. I've got other guys whom i like & actually RECIPROCATE MY FEELINGS LIKE A REAL MAN. geddit??! i don't need a guy who is never sure of himself in this matters. i don't need a guy who thinks so higly of himself. just because you're a popular mixture of races & just because your eyes isnt the same as the rest of us doesn't mean you're a bloody irresistible HUNK ayts. i never did like u based on your bloody looks. i never did & if u think im that shallow, then you're wrong.
forget it, i think this post is a bloody waste of time. im just thankful its outta my mind.